My Body Talks to Me

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Have you every had a good talk with your body? I mean a serious discussion where you really listened and it really told you what was truly going on in that bundle of biological matter? My body talks to me all the time. It's been doing so since childhood, but only recently have I learned to listen.

Somatic Psychology -- the new wave of psychological know-how. It has become more commonly understood, but still in its infancy. Out of somatic psychology has grown an amazing therapy called somatic experiencing. It's not head therapy like typical counseling. It's body therapy. Just for that shell and innerds that most people consider you. The man who created it (Dr. Levine), in my opinion, is brilliant. In my whole experience -- and trust me I've done a lot of therapy -- I have never done anything that heals the stress of the body like somatic experiencing.

Sara Pettitt, the woman who does my SE, is AMAZING at it. She has a way of assisting me in listening to my body so I get way down deep to the root of what's truly going on. One time we were in a session and my right let went numb and tingly. I couldn't figure out what was going on, but I honed in on the sensation. Suddenly a memory of childhood came forward. I had issues with weak ankles, and at only 3 or 4 years old they casted my right leg thinking this might help strengthen them. I remembered being in the cast, and suddenly "heard" my body saying that it learned that it had to remain immoblized in order to heal. When I came to the session that day I was working on a strong aversion to exercise post-aneurysm. Never in a hundred or even 1,000 hours of traditional therapy would I have come to this conclusion. I had all but forgotten the original casting.

This SE therapy is also phenomenal for assisting with eating issues. I've always believed my urges to eat were rooted in a misguided psyche. I have now learned that my urges to eat are driven by imbalanced biology (endocrine system) and overstimulated nervous system. The SE helps the second of these two dramatically. Sometimes I walk out of a session feeling like I've taken valium or had a glass of wine. The calmness is almost surreal.

I feel blessed to have a curious mind that causes me to seek out answers to the issues that challenge me. Being led to Sara was an answer to a life-long quest for healing my eating issues and resolving the multiple traumas experienced by my body. I have a new appreciation for my physical self, and I know over time I am healing a life-long pattern of stressful existence.

How Good Can You Stand It?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

How do you not go into overwhelm when the world is passing you new things at lightening speed and you feel like you're Dorothy trying to grab something that ISN'T move as the house twirls and whirls in a tornado? I'm perplexed how to do this successfully without feeling stressed out or overly fatigue or wishing I could run and live in a cave in the mountains with me and just the cats (my hubby asked if he could come but I said he'd have to stay in the cave next door).

There are many things happening in my life, as you can read below. One of the most amazing things for me is that my business, Landau Design, is growing by leaps and bounds. Trust me, it's not without a lot of effort and perseverance. I've actually been working with a business coach since January. His name is Ralph, and he's helped me so much. I see everything so differently, and this change in perspective has assisted me in growing my business by more than double since the start of the year.

BUT, I still cannot seem to master the art of calmness in the midst of the storm. This week has been a stupendous week, with work rolling in at a fast clip. And we're only two days into it. We have projects in progress, just starting and finishing up, and all of it is a wonderful thing! Yet, I sit in the middle, sometimes grabbing my curly hair, and wonder how we will accomplish it all.

Today I learned from my coach that I should shift my expectations. I will NOT accomplish it all, and I must accept this. That is the nature of having a fast-paced business. Of course I can't be dropping balls, so I must find others to assist me in getting things done. OTHERS?! Yikes, this means I have to rely on somebody else to do it RIGHT?! Yikes again! Holy toledo, apparently one of the biggest issues for entrepreneurs is relinquishing control. Yep, I certainly fit that bill. So having others help me would assist in accomplishing the goals, but that means being okay with how they do things. I am moving that way... where's the valium?

Do you suppose for somebody who has had a lot of challenges in life, it is difficult to accept when things are going so well? Even though on the surface I seem to be accepting it all, happy about it all and truly embracing what is coming forward, but perhaps somewhere deep in that murky subconscious I rebel against this success? And that rebelling comes out in the form of worry and stress.

I remember when I was getting my degree in Spiritual Psychology from USM (University of Santa Monica), Ron Hulnick, one of the lead teachers, used to say, "How good can you stand it?" In other words, life is abundant, and that abundance can flow towards you in multitudes way beyond your wildest imagination. The only question is, can you be open to it and receive it and be in it? How good can you stand it?

I love to be busy, and I love to accomplish a lot, but I am reaching an age where peaceful times sound quite appealing. Lazily playing with the kids, or even reading a book for a couple hours, sound like cherished lost moments that are passing me by. I want it ALL, and I want to be the person who stands towards heaven with their arms flung wide and says, "Hit me with your best shot! I can stand it as good as it gets!!!"